The 15 unspoken rules every CSM needs to know about their career (part 3)

In part 1 and part 2 of "The 15 unspoken rules every CSM needs to know about their career" series, we pulled back the curtain on the hidden dynamics that drive CS careers forward.

These final rules reveal the day-to-day opportunities hiding in plain sight. Let's complete our journey through the unwritten playbook that veteran CSMs wish someone had shared with them years ago.

Rule #10: Your Boss's Problems Are Your Opportunities

Most CSMs are focused on their customers' problems, but there's another set of challenges that can accelerate your career, the ones keeping your manager awake at night. Understanding and solving these builds even more career capital than customer wins alone.

Spotting the real priorities

Your manager's true priorities aren't always obvious in casual conversation. Pay close attention during team meetings, one-on-ones, and especially in those moments of frustration. When your manager mentions something multiple times, it's usually not casual conversation. It's a signal of what's really important.

Listen for recurring themes like:

"We need better visibility into..."
"I wish we had a way to predict..."
"It takes too long to..."
"Leadership keeps asking about..."
"We're struggling to scale..."

These aren't just complaints - they're opportunities disguised as problems.

Why this matters more than you think

Your manager isn't just measured on customer satisfaction and retention. They're being evaluated on how efficiently the team operates, how predictable customer outcomes are, and how effectively they manage department costs. When you solve problems in these areas, you demonstrate you understand business operations at a higher level.

Common manager-level pressures include:

Improving team efficiency without adding headcount
Creating predictable, scalable customer outcomes
Managing and forecasting department costs
Developing team members effectively
Improving cross-functional collaboration

Real example: The process problem

Alex noticed something most CSMs missed. During team meetings, his manager kept commenting about QBRs taking too long to prepare. While others just nodded along, Alex saw this as a signal of a more significant problem: team efficiency was probably a key metric for his manager.

Instead of just accepting this as "the way things are," Alex took the initiative. She spent a month documenting exactly how long QBR preparation took and where the biggest time sinks were. She found that everyone was recreating the same analytics and struggling with similar data collection challenges.

Her solution focused on key areas:

Creating automated data pulls for common metrics
Building reusable presentation templates
Developing a standardized prep checklist
Documenting best practices for different customer types
Setting up shared resource libraries

The result? QBR prep time dropped by 60%, giving his manager a concrete win to report upward.

The smart way to solve boss-level problems

The key is to listen differently than your peers do. When your manager mentions challenges or frustrations, don't just nod along. Ask yourself: What's the real problem behind this comment? What would make this problem go away completely? How could solving this help our whole team, not just me?

Look for problems that:

Affect the entire team's efficiency
Impact important metrics or reporting
Create friction with other departments
Slow down critical processes
Keep coming up in leadership discussions

This doesn't mean neglecting your customers; it means being strategic about solving problems that create value at multiple levels.

Rule #11: The Money Is In The Problems Nobody Wants to Solve

Want to get ahead faster? Look for the messy situations other CSMs avoid. Those difficult customers or complex projects nobody wants to touch? They're actually golden opportunities to prove yourself.

Finding your opportunity

Look around your company. There's usually a handful of situations everyone's trying to avoid:

That big customer who's always complaining
The technical implementation that seems too complex
Problems that involve multiple departments
The project that's been sitting there for months
The account everyone thinks might churn

These problems are opportunities to stand out.

Why these problems are actually gold mines

Think about it: People notice when you solve a problem everyone else avoids. You're fixing an issue and taking something painful off your manager's plate. Plus, these situations often involve working with multiple teams, which helps you build relationships across the company.

Simple problems get forgotten. But when you turn around a troubled account or solve a long-standing issue, people remember. These wins become stories that get told when promotion discussions happen.

How to take on tough problems (without drowning)

Don't just dive in, hoping for the best. Be smart about it:

First, understand exactly what you're dealing with:

What's actually going wrong?
Who's involved and affected?
What's been tried before?
What resources do you need?

Then make a clear plan:

Write down the current situation
List out who needs to be involved
Create specific steps to fix it
Get buy-in from key people
Track everything you do

Real example: The problem nobody wanted

Every day, the #ask-integrations Slack channel at Maria’s company was flooded with basic technical questions: "How do I read this error log?" "What does this API response mean?" "Can someone join my call to explain webhooks?" The small integrations team was drowning in requests it didn't need to handle, and customer implementations were getting delayed.

While her colleagues kept Slacking for help with even basic questions, Maria spent 30 minutes each morning learning API basics and common integration patterns. She shadowed technical calls and built a simple troubleshooting guide for herself. Six months later, she handled most technical questions without pinging the integration team. Sales started requesting her for technical discovery calls, and when she did need to escalate, she provided clear context that helped the technical team solve issues faster. What started as a skill nobody wanted to learn became her fastest path to a Senior CSM role.

Rule #12: Trust is Built Through Genuine Connection, Not Just Good Numbers

Between two equally skilled CSMs, teams promote the one they genuinely enjoy working with and trust. This might be seen as office politics. The truth is likeability matters.

This isn't about being everyone's best friend. More so, it's about building authentic professional rapport. Here's how to do it right (and wrong).

The right way to build connections

Be present and engaged:

Practice active listening in team meetings - take notes, ask thoughtful follow-ups
Remember details about your colleagues' projects and challenges
Actually pay attention in 1:1s instead of checking Slack
Follow up on previous conversations and commitments

Show genuine professional interest:

Learn what matters to each teammate's success
Understand other departments' challenges and goals
Remember new team members' names and help them navigate
Notice when colleagues do great work and mention it specifically

Build real trust:

Share your best practices openly
Give specific, earned praise in public
Show genuine appreciation when others help
Follow through on commitments consistently

Warning signs you're doing it wrong

Avoid these common traps:

Don't build connections through office gossip
Skip the fake flattery. People see through it
Never throw others under the bus to look good
Don't sacrifice your own work just to be liked
Avoid becoming the office therapist

What this looks like in practice

Good examples:

✅ "I noticed how you handled that escalation. Could you share your approach in our next team meeting?"

✅ "I remember you mentioned struggling with enterprise onboarding. Here's a template that worked for me."

✅ "Thanks for your help with that technical issue. You made it so much clearer!"

Poor examples:

❌ "Did you hear what happened in that customer call?"

❌ "You're so much better at this than [other CSM]."

❌ "I'll take that escalation for you" (when you're already underwater)

The balance point

Build genuine connections while maintaining professional boundaries:

Be warm but focused on work outcomes
Help others, but don't neglect your responsibilities
Share credit but also own your achievements
Be friendly but maintain professional respect
Support colleagues but don't enable poor performance

True likability in CS comes from being consistently reliable, genuinely helpful, and professionally authentic. It's about building trust through actions, not just personality.

Rule #13: Watch What Gets Rewarded, Not What Gets Said

Every company broadcasts its values on office walls and websites: "We're transparent," "We move fast," "We're customer-obsessed." But the real culture lives in the everyday behaviors that actually get rewarded and recognized. Understanding this gap between stated and actual culture is crucial for your CS career.

The two playbooks at work

Most companies operate with two distinct sets of rules. The official playbook is clear and visible. It's in your onboarding documents, employee handbook, and company values posters. But alongside these formal guidelines runs a parallel set of unwritten rules that often matter more.

The official rules everyone sees:

Written values splashed across the website
HR policies spelled out in handbooks
Stated communication guidelines in Slack
Formal decision-making processes in docs
Published organizational structure

The real rules you need to learn:

Whether that "optional" all-hands meeting is actually optional
If you should really ping that VP directly or go through channels
What time people actually start their day, regardless of official hours
How much push-back is actually acceptable on deadlines
Which meetings are for real decisions vs. just alignment

Learning the true culture

Most CSMs take 12-18 months to fully grasp their company's unwritten rules. This isn't being slow. You need to see how things play out across different situations and seasons. During this learning period, focus on carefully observing successful people in your organization.

Watch how respected CSMs and leaders actually operate:

Do they really "fail fast" as the values suggest, or is there a careful process of building consensus before any moves?
When they say "feel free to give feedback," how and where do they actually prefer to receive it?
Despite the "no hierarchy" claims, who really needs to be consulted before decisions?
What level of preparation is actually expected for meetings versus what's stated?

Real-world navigation examples

The most successful CSMs learn to read between the lines of company culture. Here's what they pay attention to:

Leadership behaviors: Watch how leaders actually handle situations, not just what they say about them. Do they really want bad news early, or do they prefer solutions with bad news? Do they say "we're all equal" but expect special treatment? Understanding these nuances helps you navigate more effectively.
Decision-making patterns: Every company has its own rhythm for how things really get done. Some decisions happen in formal meetings, others over casual coffee chats. Learn where the real decisions happen in your organization. Sometimes the pre-meeting is more important than the meeting itself.
Communication styles: Despite official guidelines about "direct communication," your company might actually prefer a more diplomatic approach. Pay attention to how successful people deliver messages, especially difficult ones. Do they have private conversations before public meetings? Do they use Slack for certain topics but email for others?

Recovering from cultural missteps

Everyone makes cultural mistakes early on. The key is learning from them quickly. When you realize you've misread the culture:

Acknowledge the misalignment professionally
Adjust your approach without overcorrecting
Ask trusted colleagues for guidance
Watch how others handle similar situations
Use the experience to refine your cultural understanding

You don't need to become a different person to succeed in your company's culture. But you do need to understand the real rules of the game you're playing. The goal isn't to change who you are, but to be effective within the system while staying authentic to yourself.

Rule #14: Almost Everything in Your Career is Negotiable

Most CSMs accept their career circumstances as fixed realities. The top performers understand that almost everything can be negotiated and reshaped, from their role responsibilities to compensation to advancement timeline.

The myth of fixed career paths

When you join an organization, you're presented with numerous "givens" that seem unchangeable:

The accounts you're assigned
Your compensation structure
Your promotion timeline
The scope of your role
Your performance metrics
Your team placement

Most CSMs accept these as immutable facts of work life. But high performers recognize these are often just starting points for negotiation.

What's actually negotiable in your CS career

Role composition

Which accounts you handle
Technical vs. relationship focus
Strategic vs. operational responsibilities
Cross-functional involvement
Special projects access

Career advancement

Promotion timelines
Title changes
Performance review criteria
Development opportunities
Skill-building resources

Work structure

Account load and mix
Team placement
Remote/hybrid arrangements
Meeting and reporting requirements
Cross-departmental exposure

The strategic negotiation approach

The most successful career negotiators create value propositions rather than make demands.

Here’s how to approach this:

1. Document exceptional impact

Before negotiating, build a clear case:

Track quantifiable results beyond standard metrics
Document strategic contributions others don't see
Collect stakeholder feedback supporting your value
Show how you've expanded beyond your formal role

2. Align with business priorities

Frame negotiations around company needs:

"I could take on these strategic accounts to support our enterprise focus"
"My technical background could help bridge our implementation gaps"
"I've developed expertise in our financial vertical that could strengthen our positioning"

3. Test the waters

Before formal requests:

Take on a special project in your desired direction
Volunteer for cross-functional initiatives
Develop expertise in your target area
Build relationships with leaders in that space

4. Present solutions, not requests

Instead of asking for changes, propose improvements:

"I've noticed our enterprise segment needs more technical support. I'd like to specialize my role to fill that gap."
"Based on my results with strategic accounts, I believe I could create more value by focusing exclusively on that segment."

Example: Negotiating a career acceleration

David was a mid-level CSM with strong technical skills. Instead of waiting two years for the next promotion cycle:

He identified a gap: The CS team struggled with technical product adoption
He created a solution: Built technical onboarding templates that improved time-to-value by 40%
He demonstrated value: Trained other CSMs on technical implementation approaches
He proposed a role evolution: "Technical Customer Success Lead" focusing on complex implementations

Rather than asking for promotion on the standard timeline, he negotiated a new specialized role that advanced his career and solved a business need.

Remember: Don't wait for the organization to recognize and reward your value. Create evidence of impact, identify business needs, and propose solutions that simultaneously advance the company's goals and your career.

Rule #15: Sometimes Moving Up Means Moving Out

Sometimes, the fastest way up is out. While internal promotions can provide steady growth, external moves often bring bigger jumps in both pay and responsibility.

The internal vs external reality

Most companies have well-defined promotion paths: wait your turn, demonstrate impact, get a modest raise, and slowly take on more responsibility. Even when you do everything right, internal promotions typically come with 10-20% raises and incremental increases in responsibility. You're also carrying your existing reputation - both good and bad - and working within established team structures.

The external market, however, often tells a different story:

What's possible externally:

20-40% compensation jumps
Immediate level increases
A fresh start with a new reputation
Broader role opportunities
Access to different salary markets

When to consider the jump

Look carefully at your situation and if you've hit a ceiling: Are you doing senior-level work at junior-level pay? Has your company's growth slowed? Are market rates significantly higher than your current compensation? These are signals that it might be time to explore external opportunities.

Most importantly, watch for the promotion timeline. If you're consistently hearing "maybe next quarter" or "let's revisit in six months" while doing work above your level, the market might value you more highly than your current company can.

Real example: the strategic jump

Rachel's story illustrates the power of strategic moves. As a solid CSM managing mid-size accounts, her internal path was clear but slow: a 15% raise in 12-18 months, managing slightly larger accounts. Instead, she made a calculated external move to a Strategic CSM role with a 35% raise, enterprise accounts, and a fresh start as a senior hire.

Making smart external moves

If you're considering an external move, be strategic about it. Build a strong portfolio of transferable wins and documented impact. Maintain positive relationships with your current team - the CS world is small, and today's colleague might be tomorrow's reference or future opportunity.

Most importantly, research thoroughly. Understand market rates for your experience level. Look at company growth trajectories and team structures. The goal isn't just a better title or salary. That’s great, but it's also finding a role where you can make a bigger impact and continue growing.

The long view

Your primary loyalty should be to your career growth. Sometimes, that means making a strategic external move. The best CS professionals don't job-hop randomly. They make calculated moves that significantly advance their careers in ways internal promotions might take years to achieve.

Final Thoughts: The Meta-Rule

The most powerful insight isn't knowing all these rules, it's recognizing that career success in CS requires intentional design, not just good customer work.

While most CSMs focus solely on customer happiness, those who advance fastest understand:

Technical skills get you in the door, strategic thinking gets you promoted
Invisible impact might as well not exist
Every challenge is an opportunity to demonstrate your next-level capabilities
Your path isn't fixed—almost everything is negotiable

Your career isn't something that happens to you. It's something you build deliberately, one strategic decision at a time.